I was speaking with a friend the other day. I was asked a question that people often ask themselves at about 30. Why do we do it? What is the point? We just get born, grow, go to school, finish school, get a job, get a spouse, get a house, get a family, grow old, die. Why? Why are we all supposed to follow that path?
I didn't know how to answer. Probably because we all must figure this out for ourselves. I am 43 now. Actually, I'm just past my 43 1/2 birthday! I can't say that I understand it all; but I do know that some of the discomfort and uncertainty felt at 30 has gone away. I know that time is limited (30 has just discovered this). I know that I cannot live long enough to see all my dreams come true (that, after all is why they are called dreams). I also know that the "drudgery" of the path is really only as real and oppressive as we allow it to be.
While I would be totally happy having more than I do now; I love what I have. I have my little house, my children, my family and my pets. I have friends and a challenging job (several, actually). Some days it feels like drudgery and I am caught up in the sludgery. But most of the time, at the end of the day, I feel complete. I have spent my day in worthwhile pursuits. I have spent my emotions for people I love and causes I believe in. I appreciate my big bed in my little house. I have wonderful neighbors who truly care about me and my household. I am fortunate to have a healthy extended family.
Am I missing anything? Sure. I am divorced. I hate that. It truly hurts and that hurt never completely heals. I mean, I'm OK, but dreams have been shattered and hopes have died. I live, laugh and love, but with a scar that I will carry to my grave. I was supposed to have a partner to grow old with, to face the daily challenges with, to laugh and play with, to mourn life's losses with. But though that dream has had to be abandoned; I have a wonderful life.
I have faced enemies and defeated them. I have faced enemies and tasted defeat. Most importantly, I have faced life and been given an abundance of love. And at the end of my life, it is my hope that many will mourn my passing. And I hope to leave behind a legacy of laughter and love and people who will have been glad to have known me -- maybe even a few who will say their lives were better for having known me.
Why do we do it? I can't answer for you; but I can say for me that I live my life to be linked with people I like and love.
