Meaning of Life

I was speaking with a friend the other day. I was asked a question that people often ask themselves at about 30. Why do we do it? What is the point? We just get born, grow, go to school, finish school, get a job, get a spouse, get a house, get a family, grow old, die. Why? Why are we all supposed to follow that path?

I didn't know how to answer. Probably because we all must figure this out for ourselves. I am 43 now. Actually, I'm just past my 43 1/2 birthday! I can't say that I understand it all; but I do know that some of the discomfort and uncertainty felt at 30 has gone away. I know that time is limited (30 has just discovered this). I know that I cannot live long enough to see all my dreams come true (that, after all is why they are called dreams). I also know that the "drudgery" of the path is really only as real and oppressive as we allow it to be.

While I would be totally happy having more than I do now; I love what I have. I have my little house, my children, my family and my pets. I have friends and a challenging job (several, actually). Some days it feels like drudgery and I am caught up in the sludgery. But most of the time, at the end of the day, I feel complete. I have spent my day in worthwhile pursuits. I have spent my emotions for people I love and causes I believe in. I appreciate my big bed in my little house. I have wonderful neighbors who truly care about me and my household. I am fortunate to have a healthy extended family.

Am I missing anything? Sure. I am divorced. I hate that. It truly hurts and that hurt never completely heals. I mean, I'm OK, but dreams have been shattered and hopes have died. I live, laugh and love, but with a scar that I will carry to my grave. I was supposed to have a partner to grow old with, to face the daily challenges with, to laugh and play with, to mourn life's losses with. But though that dream has had to be abandoned; I have a wonderful life.

I have faced enemies and defeated them. I have faced enemies and tasted defeat. Most importantly, I have faced life and been given an abundance of love. And at the end of my life, it is my hope that many will mourn my passing. And I hope to leave behind a legacy of laughter and love and people who will have been glad to have known me -- maybe even a few who will say their lives were better for having known me.

Why do we do it? I can't answer for you; but I can say for me that I live my life to be linked with people I like and love.

TIME

When I was a kid, I laughed at how old people couldn't seem to remember when something happened. They always talked about time going by so quickly. I'm not laughing at them anymore. In fact, now I have the same good laugh at myself.

I remember grandparents talking about how "I remember when there were no houses here. Just farmland as far as the eye could see. Look at it now! Where are all these people coming from? OK, now when I drive down 99 I often feel those feelings even if I don't speak them yet.

As I logged on, I couldn't believe the date of my last blog. August 17???!!!! It was just a few weeks ago that I blogged, right? Where did the time go? Well, time is up for me now. Hopefully I will blog a little more timely next time!

Faithful

What does it mean to be faithful? Is it a matter of personal ethics? Is it a matter of religion?

Being faithful in personal ethics is important. I believe it means being true to oneself and to others. It means knowing what my ethics are. I believe in honesty -- but not in cruelty masked in honesty. I believe in loyalty -- but not in being manipulated by others through that loyalty. I believe in integrity -- I do my best whether others are watching or not; and I try to always acknowledge and correct my mistakes. I believe that in an intimate relationship -- dating and marriage -- there is no other option. Do not look left and do not look right. Your body and heart are no longer yours, they have now been given to the other. Before we are in committed relationships, I believe that we must guard our bodies and our hearts and minds for the relationship that is to come.

So what about religion? What does it mean to be faithful in a religious sense? I believe that faithful people are "filled with faith". That sounds pretty simplistic, but consider all of life's challenges and how the faithful face them. I am a Christian. I believe in God. I believe in Jesus the Christ, the messiah, the risen one. He is all-powerful. He loves me. He watches over me. He does not tempt me. Anything that comes into my life must first be allowed to come to me by God.

So. Hardships: broken relationships; broken finances; disappointments in others; disappointments in myself. How should I face them? With hope. With the joy that I am NEVER alone. Remembering that now is only now; there is an eternity waiting for me and this is just kindergarten for that. I believe that I am to be the face of God's love for people here on earth; that I am to be his loving arms and helping hands to others. When I am hurt, I know He cares and understands because of the hurts He suffered here on earth. When I am disappointed, I know He knows and sympathizes. When I am scared, I know He is holding me.

Faithfulness. I believe it has incredible power to guide our lives. It brings constancy and comfort.

FAMILY

Family. It is our greatest strength. Unfortunately, the family is becoming extinct. The traditional family, that is. You know, Dad works, Mom is home raising kids, siblings have the same parents, everyone in the house has the same last name. This has traditionally been the strength of our nation. Think about it. In order for kids to do all that they have to do to grow up strong and ready to take on the world, they need a great foundation. Two parents who love each other (note, I did NOT use the phrase "in love"), who work side by side towards the same goals, who support one another; those parents provide a stability, a root system for children to grow.

I am lucky. My parents are still alive, still married to each other, and still committed to the generations before them and the generations they brought into the world. My grandmother is in her 90s and my parents have taken great care of her in the past few years. Especially after my grandfather died, if Grandmother needed anything, help was only a phone call away. Now she lives in Florida with my aunt, who ensures that Grandmother stays as healthy and strong and vital as possible. My parents are around for their kids. They would love to have moved out of California years ago. But they have stayed because all of us kids are here. We all know that help is only a phone call away. In fact, often that phone call is made by our folks.

My kids are lucky and unlucky. They get the benefit of my caring, committed parents. However, they have to deal with divorced parents. Every other weekend they must ben in another town. So often, friends and family have events on those weekends. Usually my kids miss those events because time with their dad is important. This weekend, Dad has given up his weekend because a dearly loved cousin is going into the army next week and we are sending him off with a party.

All kids deserve to wake up each day in the same place. All kids deserve to wake up to the same family each day. All kids deserve parents who understand commitment: first a commitment to their own parents, then a commitment to their spouses (which will always take precedence after marriage) and finally a commitment to their children and grandchildren. And you know what? All adults deserve to have that stability as well. Marriage instead of divorce means waking up in the same bed with the same spouse. It means financial strength. It means true partnering. It means better mental and physical health. It actually means a better love life.

I hope our society will grow up. Being in love is a wonderful thing --- in its place and for its season. Mature adults know that love is stronger than being in love. And loving couples know that being in love will happen throughout their marriage and help them to appreciate the relationship that supports being in love. Finally, when all around seems lost, lonely and threatening; it won't be the in love feeling that helps, it will be the committed love that has grown, matured and stepped out from selfishness. I believe that with determination and commitment, we CAN have it all, marriages that last, love that lasts, periods of being in love with our spouses, children who please us and with whom we are delighted, happily forever afters!

THE ART OF THE ART

Those beautiful kids are mine. They had just finished competing in a karate tournament. See the medals? They both qualified to go to the national competition. They have both competed in past years. As I watch them, and the other competitors, I realize that this deadly sport is the art of the art. Then again, so is playing a musical instrument, painting well, writing well, almost anything that humans engage in which is beneficial and beautiful.

OK, so my son is almost 15 now and he has been in karate since he was 8. His belt should be brown or even black by now. But, we haven't pushed for promotions every time he was eligible. The reason is that we believe karate is more than simply going through the classes and through the ranks of the belts. His sister is 16 1/2 and she started a year after her brother. Likewise, with her skills, she could now be a brown, perhaps even a black belt.

Both of my children (I say with some pride) compete well against brown and black belts of their age. This picture is from this year and they had to compete with brown and black belts of their age to win the medals they wear. They have both really dedicated themselves to being in class, to paying attention, to accepting correction and to enjoying the growth that comes with pursuing art. My daughter also plays violin. It is an art that takes years and years to become proficient and many more to master. I am so proud of both of my children. I enjoy watching them as they perform their arts because they have developed skills and abilities I do not have.

Keep going for the gold, guys. You continue to become better artists in your various arts with every year. It is a privelege to say that I am your mother!

LETTING GO OF LOVED ONES

I belong to BNI, Business Network International. One of our members just suffered the tragic loss of their two-year-old daughter. I have been completely overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and compassion from all the members of his chapter of BNI. And not only his chapter, but of other chapters as well; including total strangers. The power of everything in life is the power of people. Never underestimate the love, compassion and desire to help that exists within the hearts of others or you will miss out on the very best that life has to offer. To the Doxeys, my heartfelt sorrow and prayers for your family, little Holly touched so many lives in her short time here.

THE POWER OF THOUGHT

Is there power to our thoughts? I believe so. And I am not alone.

I belong to a group that meets weekly. For a while, my attitude was eroding. Each week, I felt more frustrated with someone or something in the meeting. Then, before the meeting, I began to expect to be unhappy. It began to snowball. I considered resigning from the group. Then, I decided before I gave up to come in for at least two weeks. I would be there on time, with a smile, and expect the best. I would ignore the things that were bothering me. Amazingly, there was an immediate effect of the group; there were less irritants to me and everyone and everything started working more smoothly. I know that my thoughts changed my reactions. My changed reactions changed others' behaviors.

There is a book titled "The Intention Experiment" The book is all about how science is beginning to prove that our thoughts affect our environment. The main experiment was one where volunteers throughout the world concentrated on the water systems of our planet. The volunteers were worldwide. The day before this was to occur, samples were taken from various water sources. Then, the volunteers, globally, sent their kind and healing thoughts to the waters. Water samples were taken from the same water sources a day later. The second water samples were cleaner, healthier water. If you feel skeptical about this, check out the book; the experimenters actually asked people who didn't believe in this to be controllers and verify the results.

Finally, most importantly, I cite the Bible. Philipians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Spend some time today to think about what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy. I think you will find your day just a little brighter, yourself a little more productive and positive.

I love Teens

I love my teens. (OK, this includes my youngest daughter, who is not quite a teen--but love her anyway.) There seems to be so much negative press about teens. And yes, I'm guilty of making poor jokes about teenagers. But the truth is, I love the hope, the optimism, the energy and the passion of teenagers. Yes, their lives are truly before them and this is an awesome time for them. I don't believe it is any easier being a teenager than it ever was. Especially if the teenager doesn't want to be what everyone else is; she wants to be herself. And, of course, herself is often what doesn't seem to be "normal" or whatever. The tough part for many kids to understand is that all of us have felt this pressure to hide ourselves or fight the world. But my small circle of teens are awesome in part because they are developing their courage to be themselves within and in spite of their world. I truly admire, respect and love these gals. I love the enthusiasm for discussing moral issues. I love their unique voices and viewpoints. Although I can't always hear it when they all talk at once, I love to hear what they're thinking. Did I say I love my teens?! You go girls! You rock! You're awesome and the best of the world today.

HONESTY, QUALITY, INTEGRITY

HONESTY, QUALITY & INTEGRITY

Honesty is one of the core values my parents instilled in me. We were told that if we were honest when we'd done something wrong that our punishment would be less severe than if we lied or tried to hide or misdeeds. And my parents lived up to that promise. The result? Now I live my life with as much open honesty as possible. I make mistakes today and I own up to them honestly. The result? Most people are kind, forgiving and appreciative of my honesty and courage. Thanks, Mom and Dad, for making it more scary to be found deceiving you than to living in honesty!

Quality is important. Quality is of value. The best possible. I try to stay balanced about it, but quality is what I try to offer to my family, my friends and my businesses. Quality time -- focusing on those who are with me. Quality emotions -- staying realistically positive and encouraging. Quality effort -- making sure that what I do is at least appropriate for the needs to be met; but not falling into the trap of perfectionism. Again, I have to say thanks to my parents. They lived out the adage, "If something is worth doing, it is worth doing right the first time."

Integrity is what drives the honesty and quality now that I am an adult. Integrity means being real with myself and by myself. At the end of the day, I always want to say that I have done the best I can; that I have been honest with myself and with others; that I have given the best quality that I can. It is acknowledging when I fall short, giving myself a litle credit for being human and working dilligently to keep myself on track.

Honesty, Quality and Integrity. These "virtues" help me to live my life so that I don't have to hide who and what I am. 5/14/08 LM

DEAR AS DIAMONDS

I was thinking about why diamonds are so dear. I believe it is because they are timeless, strong and add luster. Fortunately, most of us have living, breathing diamonds in our daily lives.

Diamonds are timeless. They don't fade out or lose value over the years. No other gem has come along to cause them to be outdated like a Beta videocassette tape. Good relationships are also timeless. These are the people who have been in our lives for some time and it looks like they aren't going anywhere. No matter how our lives/businesses change; no matter how their lives/businesses change, these diamonds will maintain their constancy. In personal relationships, these are the friends and family that stay by our sides, cheering us on, celebrating our successes, comforting our losses. In business relationships, these are the people who love to see us succeed, they mentor us, they introduce us to the right people, and then stand by proud of our successes. Be careful, always, to maintain these daimonds so as to preserve their timeless aspect in our lives and not become lost.

Diamonds are strong. They are used for cutting through materials that are impervious to steel. Incredible amounts of stress over long periods of time are required for a diamond to form. So too have the diamonds in our lives been formed over time by stress. They have suffered difficult childhoods; perhaps even abuse. They have had their hearts broken by the loss of loved ones. Their strong, healthy bodies have failed. Disaster has come through decisions that should never have had to be made. Whatever the stress, whatever the duration, they have survived -- they have come through with a strength that others can depend upon.

Diamonds have luster. They dazzle us and bring brilliance to our lives. A diamond which is properly cut and cleaned has a luster that responds to the slightest light. Even candlelight shines as it passes through the facets of the diamond. The business people and the personal friends and family that are the diamonds in our lives also bring their light to us. The strengths they have developed over time and the trueness of their natures create facets to them that cause the light they bring to us to be ever-changing yet always faithful. When our lives and businesses shine upon them, they reflect back beauty to us. This dazzling display gives to us hope, light, laughter, strength and the determination to stay in the game.

Thank you to all the diamonds that currently make up the treasures of my life: my parents, my brother and his family, my sister and her family, all of my dear friends and business contacts in BNI. Thank you for giving me your time, your strength and your brilliance. Thank you to the diamonds who are my children. If I have anything of value to give to you, it is surely due to and enhanced by all the diamonds that I claim in my life.

To all of you who feel lonely and in despair. If you are poor in spirit, look around. I bet you have diamnds in your life. If you do not treasure the diamonds you have, you will not be able to receive their gifts of timelessness, strength and luster. Instead, find your diamonds, polish them and let them shine in your lives.

Tween the Teens

I was thinkin about the teen years. They can be so incredible. Incredible times of emotional growth. Incredible times of mental growth. Incredible times of physical growth. Incredible times of uncertainty and loneliness. I am tween the teens. I have teens at home and teens they like and teens they love. And I listen and read their comments and it reminds me. Oh, for the energy you all have. Oh for the passions. But, I do not wish I had the despair, the new knowledge of life's unfairness and uncertainty. My hat is off to you. You are all so much more than you know. You are more beautiful, more full of hope and promise. You are more full of right ideas and good ideas than you realize. It is my delight to be a part of your lives. It is strange to watch you and to feel that it wasn't that long ago that I was at your stage; ready for independence, teetering on the brink of it; terrified of it and wanting it so desperately. Thank you all for letting me have the privelge of some of your trust at this time.

Be Proud of Those Who are Proud to Serve

I WAS THINKIN about our military men and women. Those brave souls, past and present, who put themselves at risk so that I can live in the land of the free and the home of the brave.

I was thinkin that our service personnel have not been paid in proper coin by those they serve. Once our nation involves itself militarily, the average citizen becomes very political. We are for the fight; we are against the action. In my opinion, those are wrong statements. We need to be for the fight before the fight; we need to stand against the action before we take action. I believe that once a single American life is at risk our nation needs to stand firmly behind the efforts of our military.

Citizens, American blood is being spilled around the globe. American lives are being changed forever. These are our brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers, sons and daughters. We need to support them above all. Second to that would be the political issue. So when you chance upon one of our own in uniform, do not scoff; don't spit; don't be ungrateful. Take the time to shake their hand, give them a smile, offer a ride.

Without these courageous men and women, we might not even enjoy the freedom to disagree with our government in safety. We wouldn't have a free society with so much opportunity. We wouldn't have the educational system that is still one of the best in the world. We wouldn't have such a great medical system that non-Americans mortgage what they own to get here for services.

Finally, please extend the same grateful courtesies to the people who serve us domestically: State Troopers, Border Patrols, Police Departments, Fire Departments, Ambulance, Coast Guard and Air National Guard as well as Reserves.

From this happy, abundance-loving American, THANK YOU! Job well done!

SINGLE MOM SEEKS SANITY!!

I was thinkin about my sanity. . . . . . . . Oh, right, my sanity. As a single mom, I can really focus on how difficult life is. No husband; teenage children; teenage driver; running two businesses; dishes; laundry; grocery shopping; etc. That can all get me down. But it usually doesn't. What really gets to me is . . . WHERE did my sanity go? So, NOT desperately seeking single male, etc. Just seeking sanity. Then, maybe I can begin to work on when and where the bills get taken care of, what and how to take care of meals, and excel in business. Oh, one of the days, I thought I might try getting a life, too. You know, on second thought, I think I rather enjoy rattling around as I am. Bring it on, house! Bring it on, kids! Bring it on Business World. I am so ready for you! I guess I do have a life after all. And you know, I absolutely am enjoying the ride! Come on, kids, keep up!

Lists

I was thinkin about lists. We make all kinds of lists. There's the to-do list to help us stay on track and get to our goals. There's the shopping list which is supposed to keep good things going into our carts and keep bad things on the shelves. There's the best-dressed and worst-dressed lists so we can keep up with what should and shouldn't be worn this season. There's the top ten bestsellers to guide our reading. And, of course, the laundry list. The laundry list is our list of grievances. I am not sure why people keep these laundry lists, but we do. I do. So do you. Admit it. All it takes is an offense at the right moment of weakness and out comes our laundry list. We indignantly go through this list reminding ourselves of others' short-comings, errors and mistakes. Somehow, this is supposed to make us feel better, I guess. What I have found is that it only takes a few minutes' reflection on this list before I begin to feel worse, not better. So, I started keeping a different list. It is my lucky list. Why am I so lucky? After all, it wasn't part of my plan to be a single mom. It certainly wasn't part of the plan to be in my 40s and trying to make a new business into an overnight success while my teenagers act like -- well, teenagers. I could go on -- but instead, let's turn the corner and check out my lucky list. I like being single. I went from my parents to my husband with almost no time on my own. Now I am in the position of responsibility. If I choose to give my time, my money or my passions to something, I can. That means I get to take on the challenge of being my own boss; well, as long as my twin sister & partner agrees. I like what I do for a living. I chose to go into sales, an arena I had long been invited to compete in which I was afraid of in the past. I like working with my family. My twin sister and I are partners in this venture, her husband is the technician and our parents guide us as mentors and co-workers. They believe in us enough to invest their money, their time and their experience. Since our parents have run successful businesses individually and jointly, we have a huge well of experience from which to draw. Did I mention that I am a mother? Well, I really like my kids. I have a wonderful 16-year-old daughter who is receiving invitations from every college in the USA and several European institutions as well. She is a beautiful, creative, delightful young lady who I greatly admire. I wish I had had it so together at her age. Then, there is my handsome 14-year-old son. He has grown so tall lately and he works out with his grandfather four days a week. Much to his delight and my squealing fright, he can now lift me up! He has a great sense of humor and a fantastic sense of gentleness and honor. Both of my children make me proud. When they aren't too busy, I love just spending the day or the evening with them. I like my friends. Since my separation from my husband, I have added so many new and supportive friends to my life that I have difficulty counting them all. And the very best friends that I have are also my family -- friends who are hard to lose! Oh yes, my lucky list goes on and on. It makes me smile and keeps me focused on what's important, what gives me energy and guides the decisions that steer my life. Let me ask, what is on your list today? Who will you let make it onto your list? Does your list help you or hinder you? Can I suggest that you throw away your laundry list and begin your lucky list? I believe you will find new delight in your everyday life -- after all, it is extraordinarily wonderful and full of good things just for you!

Privacy, Please

Wow, so OK, my sister and I found out today about a couple of web sites that can publish all kinds of information about you. We searched up our names. It is really scary the information available out there. Have we all lost all concept of the true right to privacy? Is the whole, living-my-life-on-web thing taking away what used to stand for common sense? I wonder, what happens when we have all been reduced to the numbers that represent us and these numbers are so freely available? What happens when we no longer have true identity and we socially seek more and more ways to create individual identities? I mean, what do you think? Are you silly enough to believe that coding our identities into computer chips we place under our skin will be do it? Don't believe that for a minute! This is definitely something we all must fight. What about DNA? After all, this is supposed to be so unique, right? Remember, this all gets coded back to numbers, stored on data banks, etc. Information stored this way, becomes information other people can tap into. Some day, DNA identity theft will be as common an occurrence as the modern-day identity theft is....and probably sooner than we all think. Any ideas, comments, or shared phobias on this one?

Camp Director

I thought I'd say a few words about our Camp Director. I know she won't toot her own horn. Our Director is courageous, fun, funny, loving, loyal, generous, integritive and smart. Courageous - Courage is not the abscense of fear. It is having fear and facing it head. CD does this continually in work, home and friendship. Although she doesn't like to "fight" she won't back down either. She stands her ground when she know's she right and won't let anyone take advantage of her, her friends and her family. Fun - she's always thinking of things to do and places to go and she even makes working out at the gym a fun time. Funny - she's got a great sense of humor. She can make you laugh with out much work and her laugh is a contageous one. Loving - Once your "in" her circle she'll lavish you with love. Affection show by phone calls, hugs, encouragement, praise. CD is definitly a BALCONY person. Loyal - very loyal, until you do something to prove you're not loyal to her. She'll give you the benefit of the doubt once, maybe twice, but she expect loyalty to be two way street. And who can blame her. I wouldn't want my friends to be disloyal to me and expect me to roll over and accept it. Once the bond is established between her and her friend/family/business associate, she will do everything in her power to help, encourage, talk to, defend, and promote, them. Generous - Generous to a fault. She'll give her friends and family her most vauled possesion. Her time and as much of it as you're willing to take (sometimes to her disadvantage). What's funny is those same people (and I'm guilty of it too) who keep her occupied frequently are the same ones that give her a horrible time for being late! Let me be the first to apologize for doing that and I'll try better in the future. Integritive - CD will be honest and truthful and still try to be tactful, soft and gentle if its somehting that you don't want to hear or is difficult to hear. Smart - We all have opinions and we give them to our friends and family quite frequently :) CD's however is usually right on the mark. She can give you such perspectives on issue and problems and fun times that it makes you see things from more than just your tunneled vision will allow. She is quite the friend. I am truly, truly grateful she's in my life. Grateful I can count her friend, sister almost. My life and the lives of my family are enriched by her generosity, love, laughter and spirtuality. Keep it up CD - you're place in heaven is most assuredly reserved.

BACK TO BASICS

I was thinkin about how things get complicated, confused and eventually off-course. I believe it happens when we move too far away from the basics. Think about it . . . sports always rests on the best basics. Swing the bat through the ball and follow-through; keep the ball in front of you to make the catch -- and always keep your eyes on the ball!!!! The same holds true for other sports, tennis, karate, gymnastics. There are basic concepts and moves upon which mastery is built. School subjects rest on the basics as well. Math requires first and foremost basic understanding and facility with addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. Once those are mastered, you can move into algebra, geometry, etc. In order to read and write, learn to say, recognize and write your ABCs. Spell well and construct good sentences. Build sentences into paragraphs and paragraphs into essays, etc. But, if you haven't mastered the basics, communicating in writing will not be effective. Business works the same. What are the basics? If we excel at the basic level of business, we have the foundation to move forward. If we clean floors for a living, then we must never lose sight of the fact that clean floors are what we are hired to provide. by the way, I know an exceptional man who provides that service and whose personal ethics require that he never give less than his best! A truly exceptional floor cleaning business cannot be built without total attention and dedication to the basic requirement of providing clean floors. Our relationships are the same. What are the basics? Offering ourselves in honesty to each other. Bringng the best we have to offer (and remember, that varies from day to day), and helping to bring out the best in each other. It means working to cover our friends' weaknesses by illuminating their strengths. It means encouraging their right actions while not encouraging harmful actions. It means not speaking behind one anothers' backs. I have learned as a mother of teens that I must often come back to the basics to provide the best for my household. And those basics are: get and keep the house clean -- everyone must be involved; provide my love and encouragement to the members of my house -- there are plenty of other people waiting to take them down outside; be availabloe and be cheerful. Lots of hugs are pretty basic, too. Take some time to consider which parts of your life are sliding off-track and consider getting back to basics!

About Friends

I was thinking... How far do we go for friends? Where do we draw the line? Does there even need to be a line? Would you give up something of great importance or value for a close friend? Would you sacrafice your dream to help a friend achieve theirs? Would they give up theirs for you? What happens when that close friend doesn't go the same distance as you? Do you turn back? try to drag them? What happens when they come to expect outrageous loyalty to you but don't show the same in return? I would suppose the answer would be different for everyone as each of us has different levels of trust and expectance in our lifes. Each of us has different levels of friendship in our lives and each of us has different levels of loyalty in our lives. For me, my closest friends know, I will go the distance for them. Champion for them, cheer for them, be a balcony person for them. They also know I expect the same in return. I am fiercely loyal, unyielding in my support, encouragement and such. However, I don't always get along with my closest friends nor do I always agree with them. That's not what friendship is about. We're individuals, we're different. We think differently, we act differently, we speak differently. We're awesome! WE make great teams. But we're still TWO people, two individual people. I am glad they know that. I'm glad they know they can count on me (and me on them). To all my close friend..thank you for being in my life.

Liquid Sunshine

So, I was thinkin....the other day my daughter sad all this rain makes her SS (Super Sad). Me, I like the variety in weather. That includes having the rain blowing around and the grey skies and all. But some people need an extra boost when the world looks greyer. So, how do we bring sunshine into other people's lives? What brings sunshine into my life? My Shine-Makers: Lori: Always with a great laugh David: Offbeat sense of humor I sometimes forget to pay attention to Paul: Ditto, but gives himself away with his dimples Mimi: Loves the puppies....well, Felicity anyways Elizabeth: Great, wry sense of humor Catherine: Sweet, generous, humorous--never any malice afore/or after! Mom & Dad: Ok, you gotta know sometimes those comments are hilarious So many others who come into and out of my days, my thoughts and my heart. You bring me much joy, which brings me much sunshine. So, now I know the answer when someone says to me, "You're always so happy. How do you do it?" I can say, surround yourself with the Shine-Makers and find a good laugh. I love all of you Shine Makers!

BECOMING

I WAS THINNKIN about becoming. We are always becoming. When I was a baby, I was busy becoming a toddler, then a pre-schooler, then a child, then a pre-teen, then a teen, then a young adult, then a wife, then a mother, now I am busy becoming something more. I keep wondering when this business of becoming will end -- I guess it all ends when life ends. Here's the thing about becoming. It is a never-ending process that can create a false urgency within us, a dissatisfaction for where we currently are. Preteens are well-known for their desire to become 13; at 13, we just wish for 16; at 16 we constantly dream of 18; at 18 we look forward to magic 21. And one of the strongest desires to become occurs during pregnancy, when most women can hardly wait to see, touch and smell their baby! But slow down; don't move too fast; why can't we make the moment last! (Okay, that last line is from a song) There is nothing wrong with looking forward, for we cannot and should not move backwards. But if we spend our time in remembering yesterday or striving for tomorrow, we just might miss the wonderful little miracles of today. Childhood comes only once and should be left behind at the proper time. A teenager is a strong, healthy, beautiful person who is not yet an adult -- and should not be treated by anyone (including themselves) as adults. Adults should be strong and proud of who and what they are -- even if they find they are still on the road of becoming. We are amazing, incredible people. How long has it been since we have each stopped to appreciate who and what we are, right now, on our way to becoming something else? So, I am going to look into the mirror and acknowledge that I like me. Right now, right here. So, what were you thinking?

What I thunk . . .

The other day I helped a friend clean up some things that had blown over in her yard after a big storm, and as we were taking a break I noticed she had a few older local junior aid cookbooks laying around. She told me they were given to her at her wedding as gifts for the new bride. As I picked them up and looked through them I found that I knew quite a few of the contributors, many were clients of mine. Some of them are quite advanced in years now, but it was very interesting reading through the recipes they had contributed and were proud of. It made me imagine them in their homes preparing these foods for a special dinner party or for a family get together. Later in the week I was doing some work at one of their houses and brought up that I had looked at the recipes they had contributed. Suprised, she asked me which recipes and then said she had not cooked some of those things for many years. She went back into her kitchen and returned after a while with the original recipes from her collection and then told me where they had come from and the history behind the dish. A few of them were recipes that had been passed down from her grandmother and had been in the family for years. I could tell from the look in her eyes and change in her voice that she had fond memories of those times and the recipes had brought her back to those times. I remember the time my mom gave me a cookbook of all my favorite recipes she used to make when we were kids. She also found a book her grandmother had given her and passed copies of those on as well. The amazing thing is, whenever I make one of those meals it takes me back to when I was growing up. And if I make one of the recipes of her grandmother, it takes me back to the days we spent playing at her house in the morning and early afternoon before the big afternoon meal. If you cook food that others enjoy, think about writing down your recipes so that you can pass them on to your kids and friends. I think recipes are a kind of legacy between families, regions, cultures. They are a link to our past, a memory of good times, and legacy to our future. And they taste good too!

Reflections

I WAS THINKIN about reflections. Sometimes, they are accurate. Sometimes, they get ruffled and refracted. I don't think we often see true reflections of ourselves. I have noticed that many people see themselves differently than other people see them. My friends will tell me their faults -- hair too straight, hair too curly, hair too thin, hair too thick - (and that's just their hair!). They would never look at me and judge me as harshly as they judge themselves. Could it be that we need to stop looking for flaws and start finding reasons to admire ourselves? If our friends don't reflect back to us someone we like we need to consider: (1) should we change our approach; or (2) should we change our friends? This, of course, is not to say that we need to become haughty and proud. We just need (I believe) to be more honest about our own strengths. Finally, when we see our weaknesses and flaws in the reflections, we need to minimize those by highlighting our strengths. Good friends will do this for us and with us.

OASIS

Micke Grove Zoo provides this wonderful little fountain in the bird area. Stop for a moment in time. Relax and enjoy nature. turn off the cell phones and ipods and other mechanisms of interruption and float for a while. The zoo is just minutes outside of town -- literally, yet the Micke Grove Park provides ample space to play, relax and let go of everyday life. There are wonderful gardens, a historic museum, zoo, rides and lots of space to barbecue, play softball, horshoes, look for crawdads in the stream or just relax on a blanket and watch the squirrels run through the abundance of trees. I haven't yet played the golf course but I hear good things. No matter what draws us to these kinds of areas, it is just important that we leave our "civilised" lives behind occasionally to slow down and enjoy the people we are with and the lives we are priveleged to lead in this country.

REFLECTONS

I was thinkin about reflections. I took this picture along the Mokelumne River in Clements. Truthfully, with the depth of the color of the water, the reflection was better than the reality. Aren't there times in life when that is true? I mean, often my reflection is better coming from friends, family or coworkers. Their love, resect, trust, and confidence shows me in a better light than the harsh light of day. When I grow as a person, it is because I am growing to be more like the reflections I see of myself than the self I often see.

GOODBYE GRANDMA BETTY

BEAUTIFUL I WAS THINKIN about beauty. What really is beauty? Is it being seventeen forever? Is it perfect, clear skin? Is it long, thick, lush hair? Is it a perfectly proportioned, toned, fit body? This beautiful lady couldn't make a claim to any of those attributes when I met her nine years ago. She was just a sweet, darling little lady. Then I was fortunate enough to begin to know her. First and foremost, Betty Beutler is a Christian. She never wanted anyone to mistake that. And it couldn't be mistaken. Because Betty is one of those very rare Christians who really exemplifies Christ's love. Grandma Betty came to Lodi with her husband in the 50s. They came because her pastor husband's health required a moderate climate. In 1963, only a few years after moving to Lodi, Grandma Betty started another new chapter in life -- she became a widow. Grandma Betty stayed in Lodi. No family lived here. Some in other states and some in Canada, but none in Lodi. Grandma Betty stayed in Lodi. And I am so glad she did. When I cam to Lodi 9 years ago, I was heartbroken. I was just separated from my husband of 12 years with two small children. I would meet Grandma Betty in my first year here in Lodi when I started to attend First Baptist Church. We were in a bible study group together. I learned that she was widowed and happily living a life of purpose and satisfaction. She had tremendous sympathy for me, but never suggested that I should be anything less than a complete woman on my own. Grandma Betty kept her focus on God for strength, courage and comfort and she shared that with all who came near. In that last few years, it was my privelge to see Grandma Betty in my profession as a massage therapist. I always gave my best to her; but somehow I received more than I gave. That is just the kind of gentle, incredible woman God put into my life for a while. Grandma Betty never owned a house. She never had a lot to speak of. Grandma Betty was one of the richest women I have ever known. She had tremendous sway with those who knew her. Seldom did you find Grandma Betty alone. Grandma Betty is loved and admired by the First Baptist Church family. We will be grateful for the lessons she taught us and the love she freely gave us. Thank you, Grandma Betty, for providing such an incredible role model. Beauty is as beauty lives and you, Grandma Betty are one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen!

ANOTHER OF MY HEROES

This is Paul. He is an incredible guy. He faces life with courage and strength. He helps others to laugh. Paul is 14. He is a karate student who has competed in national events. And he never intentionally hurts anyone outside of that competition. If you want a nice animal, just let Paul hang out with your pet. He is so mellow that his cats and dogs are always the friendliest on the block. Need someone to care? Just let Paul know that you are having problems. Need friendship? Now you are talking Paul's language. The only times he has had real trouble at school have been because he was defending a friend -- usually from a bully. I like Paul. I like to hang out with him, laugh with him & hear his thoughts.

Challenges

I was thinking about challenges. How do we learn to take on the challenge, push through the challenge and complete the challenge? How many successes does it take to make us confident when facing new challenges? How many successes does it take to give us energy to push through the bigger challenges? Would we only be happy with big challenges or little challenges? I like to have a variety of challenges. Like everyone, I prefer to "win" and succesfully complete my challenges. But, honestly, I've probably learned as much from unsuccesses....maybe more since I think I've had more losses than wins (ha ha). Anyway, I want to help my children and other people to be able to take on challenges, find the successes, learn from the failures and successes and go on to do greater things.

PATHWAYS

I was thinkin about paths. In our lives we will have to choose our path repeatedly. Normally, we will only be able to see just some distance down the path. So, how do we know it is the right path? First, find out what you know and don't know about the path. How long is it? Where is it going? What obstacles lie on the path? What glories and honors lie on the path. Is it going where you want? How long will it take? Ask someone who has already traveled the path. Prepare yourself for the journey Gird your loins Go forth and conquer or go another way!!

ANIMAL TESTING

I was thinkin about my pets. I love them. We have had: mice, birds, cats, dogs, rabbits, and hamsters. They are always "part of the family." That's why they go to the vets, get immunizations and have special foods bought just for them. Additionally, they live in our house and are provided for their comfort. So, I don't believe that they should be used unnecessarily for testing. I have read accounts of cosmetics being injected into rabbits' eyes; shampoos & fragrances injected under the skin and into the bloodstream. Why? Do women really put hair color and cosmetics into their bodies that way? Don't we know yet what ingredients are safe and which ones aren't? Are we not sufficiently knowledgeable to create products and test them on willing human volunteers? And forget about what the psychologists do. Really, is it necessary to attach electrodes to monkeys, cause them pain, just to register their reaction? If the only goal is to determine that pain causes the monkeys to flinch and pull away, then let's use the psychology students to determine this! However. If we have done all that we can to test certain drugs or treatments to determine their efficacy in treating cancers or other life-threatening diseases, then let's use animals as humanely as possible. we have untold numbers of unwanted cats and dogs in this country. Rabbits are well known for their breeding abilities. Humane treatment is an absolute must. I would be willing to see my own animal used if it meant the ability to save someone's life, stop the progression of a disease such as Alzheimers, multiple sclerosis or diabetes. Using animals for scientific testing raises so many questions and emotions. There really are no easy, clear-cut answers.

NEW YEAR

I was thinkin about the new year. 2008. I know it will be great! So, we have twelve months. How about twelve goals? 1. Be healthier -- this is not get healthier it is BE healthier For me, eat better, sleep better, workout. LAUGH more, LOVE more, LIVE more 2. Be richer -- How much we have is more of a state of mind than a state of bottom line. Let's face it, bottom lines change. But rich people are always rich. I have as much as I need for all that I truly want. 3. Be stronger -- Strength is internal. I believe in myself and others will also. I don't have to be perfect to be acceptable. I don't expect perfection from others, so I will give myself a break and start looking at myself in a more positive way 4. Be responsible -- I am 100% responsible for myself. Everything in my life is a result of my choices -- I bring it all on by the decisions I make. That means that I can choose to change the things that are in my life; I can get rid of things I don't like to make room for bringing in more thing I do like. 5. Adventure -- Allow myself to accept new challenges. Physical, emotional or mental. 6. Relax -- Take more time off to do what I feel like doing. 7. Organize! Get rid of what hinders and put away the rest! 8. Set more goals. 9. Celebrate myself -- acknowledge achievements. 10. Celebrate my life -- I have lots of wonderful people that I need to stop and appreciate. 11. Be grateful to God. He has allowed me life, freedom, health, wealth, laughter, love, work, play, family, friends, everything. 12. Give to someone else.