FAMILY

Family. It is our greatest strength. Unfortunately, the family is becoming extinct. The traditional family, that is. You know, Dad works, Mom is home raising kids, siblings have the same parents, everyone in the house has the same last name. This has traditionally been the strength of our nation. Think about it. In order for kids to do all that they have to do to grow up strong and ready to take on the world, they need a great foundation. Two parents who love each other (note, I did NOT use the phrase "in love"), who work side by side towards the same goals, who support one another; those parents provide a stability, a root system for children to grow.

I am lucky. My parents are still alive, still married to each other, and still committed to the generations before them and the generations they brought into the world. My grandmother is in her 90s and my parents have taken great care of her in the past few years. Especially after my grandfather died, if Grandmother needed anything, help was only a phone call away. Now she lives in Florida with my aunt, who ensures that Grandmother stays as healthy and strong and vital as possible. My parents are around for their kids. They would love to have moved out of California years ago. But they have stayed because all of us kids are here. We all know that help is only a phone call away. In fact, often that phone call is made by our folks.

My kids are lucky and unlucky. They get the benefit of my caring, committed parents. However, they have to deal with divorced parents. Every other weekend they must ben in another town. So often, friends and family have events on those weekends. Usually my kids miss those events because time with their dad is important. This weekend, Dad has given up his weekend because a dearly loved cousin is going into the army next week and we are sending him off with a party.

All kids deserve to wake up each day in the same place. All kids deserve to wake up to the same family each day. All kids deserve parents who understand commitment: first a commitment to their own parents, then a commitment to their spouses (which will always take precedence after marriage) and finally a commitment to their children and grandchildren. And you know what? All adults deserve to have that stability as well. Marriage instead of divorce means waking up in the same bed with the same spouse. It means financial strength. It means true partnering. It means better mental and physical health. It actually means a better love life.

I hope our society will grow up. Being in love is a wonderful thing --- in its place and for its season. Mature adults know that love is stronger than being in love. And loving couples know that being in love will happen throughout their marriage and help them to appreciate the relationship that supports being in love. Finally, when all around seems lost, lonely and threatening; it won't be the in love feeling that helps, it will be the committed love that has grown, matured and stepped out from selfishness. I believe that with determination and commitment, we CAN have it all, marriages that last, love that lasts, periods of being in love with our spouses, children who please us and with whom we are delighted, happily forever afters!